Two things: My roommate graduated yesterday. And I should’ve been graduating as well.
So, there are two main things that brings me to this post.
Quite a few of my friends graduated yesterday actually. Which is awesome. Really. I know how hard each of them worked to get where they are and the proudness I have for them can only be expressed in long hugs and many smiles. But I would be lying if I said I wasn’t jealous.
I don’t mean that I’m green with envy or anything, but I really wish I could’ve been graduating. It was so bitter sweet to hear the words of the speakers talking about how the (former) student were going to go on and do bigger & better things with their lives and how their their futures were bright and yada yada yada. You know how graduations are.
The thing is, I don’t deserve to be graduating yet. I’ve made a lot of mistakes. I’ve failed a lot. Sometimes life just gets the better of us. I haven’t learned all that I need to, to go out in the world and be successful in what I want to do. I still have knowledge to acquire. And that’s okay.
It’s just, sometimes, it feels strange being 23 and only going after an associates degree. I sometimes feel the need to justify where I’m going, what I’m doing, and what not.
I guess it all comes to the fact that life can suck. Real bad. But, I am getting to where I want to be. I’m finally going after something I’m good at. This is something I believe I was made to do. And that’s an awesome feeling.
I just want to be there now. But I know that I need to work to earn it. And that’s okay. I’ll be there with my friends soon. And until then, I just have to keep on trucking and keep on being motivated. I can do it. I know I can and I know others know I can.
To my roommate:
I am so proud of you and you are a wonderful person. You have been such a blessing in my life. You are going to be great. Love you girl.